So what does a parrot have in common with the deal we've been working on our dream house?

They're both dead.

Stone dead.

Definitely deceased.

Bleedin' demised.

Passed on.

No more.

Ceased to be.

Expired and gone to meet the maker.

Stiff.

Bereft of life.

Resting in peace.

Pushing up the daisies.

Their metabolic processes are now history.

Off the twig, kicked the bucket, shuffled off the mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile. IT IS AN EX-DEAL!!

We instructed our agent tonight to send a notice of termination of the purchase contract to the sellers of the "dream house" upon which we recently made an offer (accepted by the sellers). We're still in the initial option period, so we're only out the small option fee and the cost of the home inspection that took place yesterday. The inspection (done by a neutral inspector we hired, i.e., not recommended by either of our brokers) revealed several flaws, each of which would be reasonable to encounter in a 25-year-old house, but all of which together indicate a long-time lack of maintenance.

We're talking basic home maintenance here: fixing leaks, monitoring drainage, replacing rotten wood, addressing minor plumbing issues, making sure improvements are done without compromising the house's structural integrity. That, and the fact that in a termite-infested neighborhood they never had a standard annual termite inspection and as a result have six active infestations in the house. They should have done the termite inspections and adjusted or replaced gutters to prevent water damage and drainage problems as responsible home owners with any sense of pride in their home.

But they apparently didn't have much pride of ownership in their house until it came time to sell. And they want a premium price for an un-updated house with some serious underlying flaws. We could have put all those flaws aside if we had gotten the smallest amount of relief on the price and agreement to perform a detailed repair punchlist.

No deal, though, since we had unreasonable sellers, represented by an a$$hole of an agent, who refused to replace the rusting gutters and rotten wood, or to do a complete termite treatment on the house (with six active termite infestations). They wanted to spot-treat the termites and "repair" the rusted gutters. We've seen those kind of "repairs" done on houses that were being sold before -- essentially bandaids. Or clown makeup.

And we know what we're talking about, as we have performed the basic repairs and improvements necessary to keep our house sound during the 10 years we have been here. Not only that, but we have updated it, so that it looks modern, not dated.

We had already stretched ourselves on the offer price -- the new house was listed at well over the highest selling price per square foot for homes in the neighborhood over the last year. We had signed a contract at a price per square foot just about 20 cents per square foot less than the highest recent sale based on the potential we saw in the house (it's on a corner lot along one of the most desirable streets in the subdivision and has a great layout and perfect configuration of bedrooms, bathrooms, living areas, and storage. And a nice pool, to boot).

Oh, and did I mention that our offer on the house is the only one the sellers have received over the last seven months?

After their agent came back offering a band-aid repair and no monetary relief, he really iced the deal when he told our agent, "tell the Laniuses we are doing the honorable and generous thing." What's honorable about a cosmetic repair that doesn't address the underlying years of neglect??!

Idiot. F**k head. A competent agent doesn't inject emotion like that into a deal. Or only does it under explicit instructions from the principal. So we have essentially told them to go f**k themselves with their "honorable generosity" and are taking our house off the market. At least until another house with the right amount of space opens up in our neighborhood again.

Oh, and the kicker? We received an almost full-value offer on our house in the middle of the house inspection and had to decline it.

Better to ride this roller coaster and get out now than to suffer in a Money Pit.

Posted by: JohnL at 11:41 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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