Jonah Goldberg is one of the few reasons I check into the Corner semi-regularly. The other day, he posted a cool-looking cocktail recipe in the process of pointing to this twisted movie.

The recipe called to mind the recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (the effect of drinking of which is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick) that I prototyped back in college. First, the original recipe, as defined by Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

• Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit, it says. Pour it into one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V -- Oh that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!


• Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).


• Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy bikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.


• Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.


• Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.


• Sprinkle Zamphuor.


• Add an olive.


• Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

I translated that as follows:

• Ol' Janx Spirit = Bacardi 151 Rum


• Wedge of Lemon Around Gold Brick + Santraginean Sea Water + Fallian
  Marsh Gas = Sprite (or Slice, I think)


• Qualactin Hypermint Extract = Peppermint Schnapps, natuerlich


• Arcturan Mega-Gin = Everclear (though we couldn't get it to freeze)


• Zamphuor = blue food coloring


• No tigers' teeth, unfortunately.

(The approximate ratios in a large blender were: 4 rum : 1 everclear : 1 Schnapps).

• Add ice and Sprite to fill the blender. Blend.


• Sprinkle blue food coloring (stir to swirl) and garnish with an olive.


• Beware.

A so-called friend of mine has some super-8 film footage of the aftermath (this was pre-miniDV handicam days, people). Oh, yeah, and I managed to get a decent education, too.

Posted by: JohnL at 10:38 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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