Got this in the mail. The message header says that it was transmitted on Thursday, January 1, 1970 (retroactive internet?). I thought you all would be interested.

Spelling, punctation, etc., as it was in the original. more...

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:11 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Your financers buy you a horse.

You learn how to ride a horse and train the horse and breed it's offspring to take you to interesting places.

After a great trip on the third generation horse, your financers cut the travel budget and tell you to get into the trucking business so... more...

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 09:58 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 171 words, total size 1 kb.

"It has spaceships, a bank heist, Interplanetary cannibal zombies, geishas, ruthless government operatives, and a hot psychic kung fu fighting chick, how could you possibly have been bored!"

(A fan's reaction to a non-fan's dislike of Serenity.) more...

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 08:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 121 words, total size 1 kb.

"A band, like a golf course, is only as good as its weakest link."

--Peter Schickele, "PDQ Bach: Music for an Awful Lot of Winds & Percussion" [featuring the Turtle Mountain Naval Base Tactical Wind Ensemble]

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 08:00 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

"Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."

—Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

"The author regrets that he is unable to reconcile himself to the thoughtful point of view you have expressed. However, it must be kept in mind that being raised in different cultures and different places can result in such differences of viewpoint between individuals. The author is from planet Earth."

—Author Unknown

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:04 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

"I've worked in the private sector before; they expect results!"

(Dr. Ray Stantz, Ghostbusters)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 09:57 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

"My career is about as promising as a Civil War leg wound."

(Warren Zevon)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 09:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

"Oh, good! I was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and insanity to my list of things I did today."

(Agent Pleakley, Lilo and Stitch)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 09:29 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

"Oh, great altar of passive entertainment bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible."

(Calvin in front of the TV, Calvin & Hobbes)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 09:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

How To Survive Your Stint In Federal Service

(...thanks to the film version of Starship Troopers for being so bad that it inspired...)

Twenty useful tips brought to you by Gen. Paul Verhoven, C in C...

20. The enemy can drop driveless asteroids on your cities from over 1000 light years distance-presumably at FTL speeds-without resorting to any visible technology. Therefore, assume they're just stupid Bugs incapable of rational thought;

19. When piloting the ship, don't strap yourself in. When the ship is hit, you'll look cool flying through the air into the viewport;

18. Artillery? Only wussies need artillery.

17. Ignore those plasma bolts the mindless Bugs are firing at your ship-they're just "random light";

16. Be ready to shoot your buddies at a moments notice; they'll thank you for it;

15. Rest assured that, in the future, even the chicks are pumped on testosterone; more...

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:09 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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"One day, Pinky, A MOUSE shall rule, and it is the humans who will be forced to endure these humiliating diversions!"

"You mean like Orlando, Brain?"

(Pinky and the Brain)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.

"Have agreed to carry Ring to Mordor. In hindsight, probably a bad move."

(The Very Secret Diary of Frodo Baggins)

Posted by: Fred Kiesche at 07:00 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.