June 21, 2007

Spam!

The Original Monty Python SPAM Skit

From the second series of "Monty Python's Flying Circus"

Transcribed 9/17/87 from "Monty Python's Previous Record" by Jonathan Partington

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.

Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right. more...

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January 30, 2007

More Top Chef

Well, my last post jokingly referred to a Top Chef Tragedy. This is a real tragedy. Hitting Marcel/Wolverine with a bottle? Right out.

Surfing around on the term "Top Chef," I found this great guest blog entry by chef Anthony Bourdain (whose No Reservations is another item of must-see TV for me). Bourdain served a stint as guest judge for Top Chef earlier in the season and his assessments of the various contestants (other than Ilan) squares with my own.

The finale airs tomorrow at 9:00CST on Bravo.

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January 25, 2007

Top Chef Tragedy

Well not really a tragedy, but I can't believe the Top Chef judges are letting that little crapweasel Wolverine wannabe go to the grand finale next week.

Ilan's fine with me, but my two favorite Chefs, Sam and Elia, got eliminated last night.

My wife thinks the voting was rigged, since Ilan and Marcel have had so much bad blood this season. Say it ain't so! This isn't simply reality TV designed to draw ratings, is it???

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August 13, 2006

The Substance of Style at McDonald's

Today's Business section in the Dallas Morning News tells the story of Ed Bailey, whose ownership of 61 McDonald's locations in the ultra-competitive Dallas dining market has made him one of the most successful restaurant franchisees in the world.

Mr. Bailey's success as an entrepreneur began in the fashion business. Having first worked as a traveling dress salesman, Mr. Bailey soon opened and ran a successful men's designer clothing store in Cincinnati for 10 years. When he got his first franchise from McDonald's in 1984, he moved his family to Plano (a great place to live!) and was successful enough in the difficult Valley View Mall food court location that he obtained a second franchise within a year. Over the next 22 years, he added 59 more stores to his portfolio.

His story could have ended there as a great tribute to the American Dream lived by so many successful small business owners. But as the article points out, there's a special angle to Mr. Bailey's success. In the early 1990s, Mr. Bailey decided to distinguish his franchises by spending money to make them more aesthetically pleasing at the same time as his corporate management was pushing cost controls:

In 1992, Mr. Bailey opened unit No. 7 at Preston Road and Royal Lane just as McDonald's was entering its low-cost era....

It was the most expensive McDonald's built in the United States that year, with a $650,000 tab. A company-owned unit less than three miles away was the cheapest, costing half as much. The regional vice president chastised Mr. Bailey severely for this perceived folly.

"Two and a half years later, I bought that store because McDonald's wasn't making any money," he says, stating fact more than bragging. "I was doing 40 percent more in sales in basically the same trade area."


Mr. Bailey knew then what Virginia Postrel would later identify as the "aesthetic imperative." In Ms. Postrel's words:

Aesthetics--the look and feel of people, places, and things--is increasingly important as a source of value, both economic and cultural....

Aesthetics shows up where function used to be the only thing that mattered, from toilet brushes to business memos to computers and cell phones. And people's expectations keep rising. New tract homes have granite countertops, so hotel rooms have to have granite countertops too. Family restaurants used to be all about price and food, but now they have to worry about their decor. We've gone from Pizza Hut to California Pizza Kitchen. If you're in business, you have to invest in aesthetics simply to keep up with the competition.


Or, as Mr. Bailey's experience showed, to beat the competition.

For more in the same vein, check out Ms. Postrel's The Substance of Style. And be sure to read the entire Morning News article about Mr. Bailey.

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August 09, 2006

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream

Blue Bell's Tin Roof Ice Cream is simply the best ice cream flavor in the world.

Followed closely by Baskin Robbins' Chocolate Fudge.

Email me or leave a comment on your favorites and why. I'll expand on this.

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December 18, 2005

Holiday Recipe Blogging - The World's Best Chex Mix

I've spent most of this weekend in the kitchen, making a couple dozen tamales from scratch and preparing two batches of Jackie's Chex Mix (named after my best childhood friend's mom, who invented this variation of the recipe).

I'll write about the (successful) tamales some other time. This post is devoted to the best Chex Mix you will ever taste:

Dry Ingredients

1 box Wheat Chex cereal
1 box Rice Chex
1 box Corn Chex
4 C. Cheerios
1 bag pretzels
1 - 2 lbs mixed nuts

Sauce Ingredients:

1 lb. butter
1 - 1.25 C. Oil
2 T. Worcestershire sauce
1 T. Tabasco sauce
0.5 tsp. celery salt
1.5 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. red (cayenne) pepper
1 tsp. allspice
Accent (MSG) to taste

Optional (my variations in addition to the above, never more than 2 at a time extra):

1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. paprika
1 tsp. cumin

Preheat oven to 200 degrees (F).

Ready_to_Pour.jpgMake sure you have plenty of room to work. Set out four 9 x 13 (or larger, if your oven will accommodate them) deep lasagna pans on a counter. I like to use disposable ones - you can get a package of 2 at Target for less than $2. Distribute the dry ingredients among the pans evenly (see picture at left).

In a 2-quart batter bowl, melt the butter; 60-90 seconds in the microwave should do the trick. Combine the remaining sauce ingredients. Add enough vegetable oil to make the sauce an even quart, usually just a bit more than one cup. After you've made this a couple times, you may experiment with the spice mix. However, the essential ingredients are Worcestershire sauce, garlic, tabasco, and allspice.

ChexMix.jpgUsing a 1/4-cup scoop, spoon out 1/4 cup of the sauce into each of the four pans. Using two spoons, fold and stir the cereal mix until the sauce is evenly distributed. Repeat until all sauce has been evenly spread among the four pans and has coated the cereal mixture. When you're all done, each of the pieces should be glistening slightly. This is the most important step! You don't want some pieces unseasoned and others to be mushy and oily. See the picture at right for how the mix should look after stirring (click for larger).

Into_the_Oven.jpgPut the trays into the oven and roast for 4 hours. Stir every 20 minutes during the first hour, and every 30 minutes thereafter. Sprinkle Accent liberally before each stirring.

Let cool before serving. Enjoy!

Sentimental aside in the extended entry:
more...

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December 12, 2005

A Great Winter Beer

I am currently sipping a new (to me) beer, from one of my favorite breweries in my second-favorite state, The New Belgium Brewing Company of Fort Collins, Colorado.

The brew is called "Abbey" and is a double ale. It has all kinds of wintery overtones (spices and coffee in particular). Still, it has a light bouquet and is much easier to drink than other dark beers (of which I am fond).

I have only ever had the excellent Fat Tire from New Belgium. I think next time, I'll try a Trippel.

Highly recommended.

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September 20, 2005

Texas Kraut Recipes

A significant number of the "Anglos" that settled in Texas in the early 19th century were, in fact, Teutons and Slavs. And until the current generation, one could readily encounter German dialects being spoken in small towns in the Texas hill country. (In my sophomore year of college, my German class took a field trip to Fredericksburg, where we struggled to understand the dialect of a 70-something museum guide whose German was anything but Hochdeutsch).

In honor of Oktoberfest (excellent Oktoberfest picture here, btw), here's a site with numerous recipes incorporating sauerkraut, including a couple that might work here in Texas: Surprise Chili and Salsa Ole.

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August 02, 2005

Tastes Like Chicken of the Sea?

Yobbo, who's been chronicling his ongoing debauched journeys through Asia (women, gambling, etc.) over the last several months arrived in Tokyo a few weeks ago, and soon embarked on a mission to find some whale to eat.

Read his account of the unique gustatory experience here.

Almost makes me curious to try it. Even the "lightly roasted" dish (more like whale sashimi), which I can imagine being palatable with some wasabi and ginger, chased by a large Sapporo.

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June 07, 2005

Pictorial Food Blog

Undiscussable Realms is a blog I found while randomly trolling Blogspot.

It's like a one-woman Carnival of the Recipes, but with pictures. (Actually, she doesn't have many recipes, but some of the pictures illustrate the stages of putting together a dish).

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April 12, 2005

Carnival of the Recipes #34

Since I was getting ready to leave town last Friday, I missed that the 34th Carnival of the Recipes had been posted at Aussie Wife. I believe this marks the first time one of our friends from down under has hosted the Carnival.

I like the looks of the "Fire Butter" for Uncle Jack's Fire Steak. I also think I'll have to try Laughing Wolf's Roasted (well, Smoked) Lamb.

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April 01, 2005

Carnival of the Recipes #33

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend! Come inside, come inside!

Introducing the "Karn Evil" of the Recipes 33. We've a sight to make you drool, so keep it cool, keep it cool...
more...

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March 29, 2005

Carnival Coming Soon

I will be hosting the thirty-third Carnival of the Recipes this coming Friday, on April Fool's Day. I'm flip-flopping among SciFi generically, Heinlein specifically, and April Fool's Day as themes for the presentation.

If you have a recipe that you would like to see featured here, please submit it to Beth, the kind coordinator of the Carnival at recipe.carnival(at)gmail(dot)com.

Thanks!

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January 26, 2005

Superbowl Cupcake Recipe

Not entirely safe for work.

Via Dave Barry's blog, here's a recipe for Janet Jackson Breast Cupcakes.

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August 27, 2004

Carnival of the Recipes #2

My Roast Lamb and Vegetables recipe is up at this week's Carnival of the Recipes.

Be sure to surf over, and if you try the recipe, please let me know.

I also especially liked the look of the Crunchy Tossed Salad and the Steak With Garlic Blue Cheese Butter.

On a self-centered note, readers following the Carnival link finally pushed my blog over 10,000 visits total. Yay! (I'm sure Glenn's link to the Carnival helped boost the readership).

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July 22, 2004

Hot Shock

I like hot and spicy foods. I love jalapenos and green chile. I add tabasco or picante to about half of my foods. So far I'm the only one in the family who really likes foods that have "the burn." (That might be changing; my second son eats pepperoncinis -- the halting first steps toward more challenging peppers. And both boys like hot link sausages now, too).

Still, I don't really seek out the "nuclear" hot sauces described in this Tim Blair post and comments. Check out the eating habits of some heavy-weight blogging talent -- Lileks, Jarvis, Treacher, and, of course, Blair. As Lileks puts it: How many different ways can you say “my mouth hurt and I blew napalm from my hindquartersâ€�?

(Query: what kind of mind looks at the handicapped rails in a bathroom stall and thinks of Elvis' last moments?).

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April 28, 2004

Who Are the Britons?

Cue Graham Chapman voice: "We are all Britons. . . "

At least those of us who like fish and chips and roast beef with Yorkshire pudding.

Guess that makes me British, too, tho' my Scots blood rebels at the notion.

I also like tea (I'm a teasipper, after all) and sausage-and-egg breakfasts.

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April 25, 2004

One For Mr Mouse

I like Jalapeno Jack, Camembert, and Blue Cheese.

Velveeta is best for Chile con queso.

White cheddar's good, too.

I wonder if Mister Mouse knows about this? (Seems too obvious, I know)

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April 14, 2004

Strine Cuisine

Following up on the earlier chili recipe discussion, Alan Brain pointed me to an Australian menu he summarized last year.

Although the presentation is a little "nouvelle" for my tastes, the selection and mix of native foods looks positively mouth-watering.

While you're at Alan's site, be sure to leave him a congratulatory note on his recent degree in Info Tech.

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April 01, 2004

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster Recipe

Jonah Goldberg is one of the few reasons I check into the Corner semi-regularly. The other day, he posted a cool-looking cocktail recipe in the process of pointing to this twisted movie.

The recipe called to mind the recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster (the effect of drinking of which is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick) that I prototyped back in college. First, the original recipe, as defined by Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:


  • Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit, it says. Pour it into one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V -- Oh that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!

  • Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

  • Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy bikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

  • Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.

  • Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.

  • Sprinkle Zamphuor.

  • Add an olive.

  • Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

I translated that as follows:


  • Ol' Janx Spirit = Bacardi 151 Rum

  • Wedge of Lemon Around Gold Brick + Santraginean Sea Water + Fallian
    Marsh Gas = Sprite (or Slice, I think)

  • Qualactin Hypermint Extract = Peppermint Schnapps, natuerlich

  • Arcturan Mega-Gin = Everclear (though we couldn't get it to freeze)

  • Zamphuor = blue food coloring

  • No tigers' teeth, unfortunately.

(The approximate ratios in a large blender were: 4 rum : 1 everclear : 1 Schnapps).


  • Add ice and Sprite to fill the blender. Blend.

  • Sprinkle blue food coloring (stir to swirl) and garnish with an olive.

  • Beware.

A so-called friend of mine has some super-8 film footage of the aftermath (this was pre-miniDV handicam days, people). Oh, yeah, and I managed to get a decent education, too.

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